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Five guys trekking to EBC and climbing Island Peak
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Paul's second Mount Everest climb: an unfinished goal 
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They Shoot Horses Don't They
Location: Everest Basecaap
Elevation: 5300 Meters
Elevation Gain: 0 Meters
Weather: Highly variable
Quote of the Day: Life is short, things change.
At this point of the day, I expected to be writing you from Camp One. Better judgment was had.
Warning: This update is composed under the influence of much Gravol.
I digress. A hard night. Dinner became performance art (to quote Scott). "No big deal," I thought. I'm used to losing a meal (though this was my second in a day). I fortunately went back to sleep fairly easily (small joys of living in a tent. You just need to make it past the zipper.)
The alarm went off at 4:30 am and I made all the right moves for a day on "the hill." Layers on, inner boots laced, pack packed...when I went to pull my inner boots into my outers...the morning ritual began and I heaved all the water I drank all night out of me and into the tent's vestibule.
"No problem," I said. I got my boots on and stepped out into the cold, dawning morning. Unfortunately, this time, the upchuck didn't make me feel better. I felt increasingly weak and nauseated. I kept trying to get my ice axe on my pack between attacks, but it became too much.
As an outdoor educator, I'm trained to assess risks. In the inky blackness, I told myself to step back and look at the bigger picture. I was now without food for almost 16 hours, and there seemed little hope breakfast would stick around.
No, this was not a condition in which to ascend the icefall! Hard words to tell myself but necessary ones. One needs to move fast and sharp in the icefall. In no way did that describe me this morning.
As you can imagine, I was overcome with emotion as I told Jean to go on without me. I called three dear friends for solace and perspective, for in that moment, I felt done. DONE. So done. So frustrated that the nausea wasn't going away, so sad not be going on a rotation just then, so confused as to what makes sense.
All three were good to point out that I'd been a sick a long time on this trip and that maybe my body was reaching its limits. In the dark, I agreed. Maybe this was it. Maybe the game was over. Maybe I didn't have enough reserve left. Lots of maybes.
The maybes remain. I went over to see my favourite docs to see if there was any other thing the nausea could be related to...given its intermittent nature and a few appropriate signs and symptoms, they've decided on giardia.
So, I'm pumped up on Gravol and have begun the two day treatment for giardia. I've kept lunch from becoming part of an artist's palette and I'm hoping (with the help of Gravol) I can do the same with dinner.
With a diagnosis, comes hope. Maybe, the drugs will do their work and I can bring my eating back to normal which will bring my strength and reserve back up to where it needs to be to continue.
In the light of day, I am less clear than in the stark blackness of night. Some hope has snuck in the backdoor and I'm wanting to give the drugs a chance to work.
I'm clear that if the drugs don't work, I'm probably done on the mountain as I have already lost 15% of my body weight. The general adage is that people who lose 10% of their body weight don't summit.
I was feeling so poorly at the Doc's that we didn't talk future. They set me up with drugs and sent me back to bed. Now, with some food and water on board, I feel some better. I'll rest the rest of today and tomorrow and then reassess my body's capacity for climbing.
Many thanks to all for your well-wishes in the icefall. My climbing companions had a good trip through this morning and are now resting at Camp One. I miss being up there with them, but I made the right decision.
Part of a mountaineer's job description is to make the right decisions over and over again balancing health, weather, terrain, mountain conditions, etc. I've always thought Ed Viesters approach was the way to go: "The summit is optional, getting down mandatory."
As someone who is rarely sick, and for someone who is generally strong and resilient, this past month has been full of life lessons that can only be gained from seeing things from an entirely new perspective.
I didn't/don't wish for this new view, but can only do my best to remain open to the understandings and learnings that are presented from this vantage point.
Susan, Karen, and Judy - thank you so much for your support, perspective, advice, and willingness to listen this morning. I was a hurting gator and I appreciate you being there. I'll keep you posted as I make my way through these next days.
I know you're all out there cheering for me no matter what and I appreeciate that greatly.
TA
This Everest-007 Update is made possible through the generous support of AppleCore Interactive, www.applecore.ca
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Messages
'morning, TA - quite an
lgrattan — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 09:43'morning, TA - quite an unwanted weight loss regime you are on: It sounds so incredibly hard on your body. Seems though that you are continuing to learn and learn from all that is happening. I like Veisters' advice. Leslie.
Oh the pain the pain
Roger Crawford — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 09:55Your story brings back not so pleasant memories when I was on a big mountain and got as sick as a dog with liquids leaching from all orifices. Mine came about from street food several days before and I thought I was tough enough to not treat it and it would go away. I like you rarely get sick and was really feeling blah. I could just not hold down water and each time I got a belly full up it would gush.
I found mega doses of antibiotics and flat coke to be the answer and it stemmed the flows. Then it was a case of filling my belly with foods I could tolerate again and trying to rehydrate while at the same time trying to maintain focus and not let too much doubt creep in, hard as it was though to not let the mind drift off.
Lets hope you can get that stomach bug under control and begin to replenish your body. The only way you will be able to continue up is with the bug under control, hydrating and by putting some calories back into your body. You made the correct decision not to go up as it would really have drained your remaining reserves and may have done your head in. Its a case of resting up, but hey I reckon you know all of that by now.
Cheers
Roger
Believe/ A Poem
Bonniejean — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 10:25Motivational Poem -
Believe
By Wish Belkin, © 2002
Believe in rewards that await you,
believe in the harvest in store.
Believe that the spring will awaken,
believe you'll be sowing once more.
Believe that there's a tomorrow,
where no one cares if you can't dance.
Believe in the future's promise,
each new day brings a new chance.
Believe you can make you goals happen,
they're just dreams with a deadline attached.
Believe that you have the power,
believe that you're more than a match.
Believe in a shared existence,
you're not alone this is true.
Believe that right now there is someone,
who believes in the wonder that's you.
Be safe!
Bonnie Waugh/Paris, Kentucky USA
its lucky your not a horse!!!!
book — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 11:39sorry to hear you may have giardia.if you are taking metranidazole or similar you should get good results.the gravol should make you feel better and you will sleep well. [ you may have some 'colourful dreams'].i found lots of hot sweet black tea with a pinch of salt really beneficial.you are doing the right thing by resting up.keep your spirits up! ......cheers[ken.n.z.]
you are a wise woman
Visitor — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 11:39Hi TA,
What a tough decision that must have been for you to not climb with your team. My heart aches for you. I am so impressed with your wise perspective on the unexpected challenges you've faced on Everest. Hang in there! Hope you're feeling better soon.
Gillian
Right decision
Shelagh — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 12:02Sorry to hear you are still wrestling with your stomach and as difficult as it must have been....you absolutely made the right decision not to climb today. Focus on what you HAVE accomplished....totally amazing!! It's what you do with what life hands you that really counts. My positive thoughts, prayers and hugs continue your way.
Done?
Regwillis — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 12:28Hi TA,for what its worth dont decide to leave the Mountain untill there is no hope left. You could still have a dramatic turnaround. Praying for You.Reg-Ac 06.
Horse of a Different Colour
srobert — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 13:06Hi TA,
We all know that your a horse of a different colour and already a winner! You are very wise to make the tough decision you did. It's not what happens to you, it's how you react to it that makes all the difference, and you are making a difference!! Think of our card are rechargeable, we all sending you a new charge for your next journey. Hang in there!
Bob Sheppard
a suggestion
auntie3 — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 13:19Hi Ta :
One thing I have found to work with bad nausea is taking slow deep breaths they may not always work but it can delay your dinner or supper from becoming a artists palate .Believe you me I know the feeling I have been there to often to tell .Well feel better soon and good luck.Carla
Best wishes
Visitor — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 14:21Hi T.A.
Sorry that you haven't been feeling well. Your accomplishments are many and, compared to most of us, are way out there! I'm hoping that your recovery will be complete so that you can carry on, but it is of utmost importance that you return to us safely. You're an amazing inspiration to so many. This setback, I know, must be disappointing to you, but your decision is a sound one. Rest, get well and regain your strength...then make the next decision when the time comes.
Hugs and all the best!
Joan Osmond
REAL Courage!
daviecrewcut — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 14:50hi TA
soo sorry that you are not feeling well. Real courage is knowing when to say 'enough is enough'. You are right...we do support you no matter what! Take care and best of luck for whatever lies ahead.
nancy
Black and White
Shepp — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 15:15Hey TA, don't you just wish everything could be that way. I'm sure that all the physical,emotional, and intellectual wrestling you've been doing for the last while must have you feeling black and blue. You are well trained and strong of will , and you also have the good sense to make the difficult decisions; no matter how painful that has been. If you decide you are 'done', do so without doubt. Looking forward to your next update.
Take care
Shepp
Achievements
truvei — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 15:41Hi TA,
In my eyes and those of many others you've achieved a miracle! To stay on that mountain as long as you have and to persist through terrible sickness is something beyond most human capabilities. Begin the climb homeward only if your mind, heart and soul feel ready to do so. Being a secure, smart and faithful woman will help in whatever decision you choose. The people that have supported you and followed your progress and hard work will always be on your side and there for you all the way, either way.
Take care and rest well. Trudy
Parasite!?
wilberfan — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 16:05Giardia (or something of that ilk) would make sense, wouldn't it? Clearly something is going on with your body that isn't "normal". Interesting to hear you say that you're rarely sick. That would seem to back up the idea that there's something amis.
What I find really encouraging, though, is that you seem to have a clear view of the reality of the situation. If the drugs don't work, it sounds like you should be done. It's probably a testament to your strength and conditioning that you've gotten as far as you have.
Good judgment is just as important as good health on that mountain. I'm quite encouraged to hear you've got the former--and are still working on the latter...
Scott
It takes many small steps to walk a mile
Visitor — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 16:23Hi TA,
As a person who suffers from motion sickness, Gravol is one of the best inventions ever created. I hope you are feeling better and rested after a good Gravol sleep.
While it may be upsetting that your friends have moved up to the next camp, I still have faith that you were meant to keep climbing. It takes a lot of little steps to walk a mile and I believe that your strength is being tested on this trip. Your trek is an inspiration for everyone, especially women.
I have confidence that you will reach Camp One soon. As for the weight loss, picture all of the Vanilla Dips you can justify eating when you return home.
Best of luck!
Every Step
ukusprof — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 16:49Hey there, skinny- :-)
As I have written before, every step, the journey; every step, success. This bug, parasite, whatever is a nasty and terrible thing for you to have to deal with for so long (or at all, for that matter). But I continue to be amazed and impressed at your strength of body, mind, and spirit in getting through it, and I couldn't help but think of all the people reading/hearing about your struggles who will find strength and inspiration in your journey--people for whom feeling lousy is a way of life due to chronic illness or other situations. That probably doesn't help YOU feel any better, but it's true, nonetheless. That is both journey and success, no matter whether you summit or not. Of all my friends, you are the one person I can think of who would be able to persevere through this and come out the other side, so hang in there!
We've got our fingers crossed and prayers spoken for the drugs to work their miracles and for you to be able to keep in some food and liquids. That will make everything seem a bit better. And hey- the view ain't so bad out your window!
All our love-
Allison & Al
Perseverence
Penny — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 19:36I think there needs to be a picture of TA in the dictionary right next to that word. But truly, there are no words to describe how you've moved us throughout this journey so far. I feel so blessed to be part of your community of support.
And although I want to wave a magic wand so that Poof!! Bugs be gone now! (I'll try it, anways) --- I can only think the events must be unfolding as they are meant somehow. Your response to each and every challenge has been a summit. I know that your intuition will continue to guide you along your Everest journey, just as it has up to now, TA. Continue to trust in your inner voice---and know that we're here, too, sending oodles of healing thoughts and loving energy from your other home near the sea. Get well soon--you wonderous woman, you!
Best Wishes-TA From Howard Galligan
Visitor — Mon, 04/30/2007 - 22:06TA, You are amazing. While we were in Russia you fought back sickness and gave Mt. Elbrus another shot while I could merely marvel at your strength and courage to continue. I'm sure that you will fight this one out as well, but be safe. I selfishly want to climb with you again. Keep smiling
Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.
Helen Keller
Get well wishes!
Sandra D — Tue, 05/01/2007 - 00:00TA, I hope your medicine gets you well and that you recover your strength! You are a brave person to assess your own situation and to decide to stay behind to recuperate. It would be terrible to get up the mountain and be too sick to get down!
Healing thoughts!
Sandra
Wishing you all the best!
Visitor — Tue, 05/01/2007 - 00:06Wishing you all the best! you really are inspring a lot of people to dream big. We missed you at the hockey playoffs. All the best and take care of yourself.
Kelly
STRONG IN MIND
Visitor — Tue, 05/01/2007 - 00:48HI TA,
TA you are truly amazing. I know you may be weak in body but I am so pleased to hear how strong you are in "mind". What is it they say "strong mind, makes for a strong body." Things may turn around in the next few days for you with the drugs but I am amazed at how well you are coping with such hard decisions.
TA the Mt. will be there next year, the year after that and the year after that. If it is not your time this trip it "will" be the next one. I feel for you so badly cause I know how ready you were for this trip. Hang in there girl, the drugs may get you through this nightmare your body is going through. We are all thinking about you and are all praying for a safe return. That by far is the most important issue in this whole expedition. TA we all know you can climb Mt Everest with a healthy body and that is also the way we want you to come home.
..............stay strong TA and I hope the next few days will turn around for you. You are in my prayers.
DS
Keep it down!
Ann — Tue, 05/01/2007 - 01:34Hi TA,
Glad to hear you have a diagnosis, although I don't want you to feel "done". You have been doing all you can to feel better and now the true problem can hopefully be resolved. Eat, rest, drink!
CHIN UP!
Ann and Graham
Hang in there!
Pumori — Tue, 05/01/2007 - 02:30My heart aches for all you've been through. It must be tremendously difficult trying to stay optimistic and hopeful.
I dropped two pant sizes on the trek to EBC last year, and I wasn't sick at all. Just the exertion at altitude burns a tremendous amount of calories. I call it the "World's Highest Fat Farm." Unfortunately, that's not a good thing for a summit climber. I hope the Gravol helps you to keep things down so you can start pigging out at the bakery.
Don't worry about letting anyone down if you simply can't continue. Just concentrate on rest and recovery. You're a champ already!
Shanda
Hope that you are feeling better...
Visitor — Tue, 05/01/2007 - 06:50and that the nasty bugs are dispatched with the Gravol treatment. any herbal remedys in basecamp to assist/supplement with nausea and hunger such as hashish? a tiny bit a couple of puffs might prove helpful for body & spirit...
:>
wp
Keep on your path
Lorraine Michael — Tue, 05/01/2007 - 09:35Hi TA,
Didn't get to check in yesterday. It seems you are making all the right decisions. Just keep on your path and do what you have to do. It is the only way to go. Keep in touch with everything you are accomplishing. Yoi're on Everest!!!
I don't know if I told you, but I just loved the picture of the inukshuk with the Everst Summit in the background.
Lorraine